February 4, 2009 4

5 Ways to Your Inner French Woman

By Lola in Advice


Photo by Picardie Mouv 2.0

French woman possesses a certain allure. To me she is most well represented in Vanessa Paradis: long contours of smooth skin, innate sartorial expertise, and ballet-like pose.  I’ve met quite a few French women, and they all seem to posses those qualities. French girls are bred on sensuality of Colette, they are fed with exquisite food, and have a history of equal, but definitely more pronounced femininity. Borrowing from Helena Frith Powell, Debra Ollivier, numerous articles, and my own observations, what follows are tips to awaken our inner French woman.

1. Basics are Key.
How many of you, while watching “Total Makeover” type shows realized most of the women on there could have skipped many of surgical procedures if they did three things:  their hair, nails, and makeup?! There is a great quote by Helena Frith Powell: “There are probably just as many plain girls in France as there are in England and America but they don’t look plain.” I prefer to think we all have something beautiful in us, and I haven’t to this day met a person who did not have something beautiful about them. But I digress. One of the first steps to finding that inner femininity that French express so well is to take care of simple things. Budget out a manicure here and there. Take great care of your face. Pluck those eyebrows. Once you start doing this on regular basis you will notice even more beautiful things about yourself. And once you have the simple, basic beauty look down, it only gets better. But first, you have to remember the basics!

2. Skinny On the Skinny.
French women also have the nutrition down. Most don’t eat fast food, wouldn’t be caught with a soda, and books have been written about their inability to gain weight. So what do they eat/drink? Cheese, meat, vegetables, chocolate, and wine. And they hate exercise! From what I observed, and read, these are their tricks: they prepare fresh food every day, they have three regularly scheduled meals, they eat no snacks, they walk a lot, and they portion their food. If they overeat at a restaurant, lighter meals are on the menu for the next couple of days. And instead of a scale, a French woman will use the old method of measuring weight by tightness of the clothes. What I love about this approach is the lack of rigidity. In most other countries there is a prevalence of women adhering to a punishing regimen to gain the figure of their choice. Food is a pleasure, French know this, and they plan it accordingly. Some of the steps to take toward this type of nutrition are as follows: kick out the chips and snacks, sip wine instead of Pepsi, get a smaller plate and fill half of it with veggies first then add the rest, and enjoy. Take each bite and drown in its tastiness, feel the texture of the food, make love with it, take it for every drip of flavor it has. And always be thankful!

3. As Above, So Below.
Underneath a French woman’s clothes is a matching pair of high quality lingerie. Why would one dream of mismatching when there is such a discipline in a well-made pair that matches? Just as we spend time choosing body washes good enough for our body, we should spend time collecting great lingerie. Yes, collecting! Lingerie is an investment, something one budgets for. Don’t despair if your collection is small at first. You can even start with wearing better lingerie on weekends only, until your collection is large enough to proceed into the weekdays. Lingerie, it is not something you should get only for those showcasing occasions. Lingerie is made with women in mind. It is for you! It is so your body feels loved, and nourished when you put on that perfect lace set.  Start by solemnly swearing you will: A) NEVER, EVER, NEVER again buy just a bra, or just panties, (especially not in bulk). You shall buy them in pair. A matching pair! B) You will take care of your lingerie by hand washing it, and hanging it to dry. (Eager to start your collection? Few suggestions: Agent Provocateur, Victoria’s Secret, La Senza, La Perla.)

4. Feed The Soul.
While the French have a tradition of great literature, what is even greater is their tradition of absorbing this literature. This translates into women who take time to really develop their knowledge of philosophy, literature, music, and the arts. They are unafraid to join any conversation because they have spent time honing their opinions. It is as important to read a book, as it is to find the right face cream. Spectacularly sexy is their love for museums, libraries, and shows. This starts in schools where great philosophers are taught not as easy electives in college, but as a part of regular scholarly curriculum. Luckily for the rest of us, learning is not something confined to school only. We can and should take every opportunity to broaden our intellectual horizons. Start your French reading connection with: Flaubert, Colette, Sartre, & De Beauvoir.  I guarantee it will feed  your mind and soul.

5. Quality Over Quantity, Always.
Their homes are not as big, yet somehow always perfect. Their wardrobes small, but all the clothes fit. Their cars tiny, still they travel far. What, exactly, is the trick? French women always choose quality over quantity. Everything is picked with an eye of an observer who knows what they have been looking for. There are no bulk purchases. There are no “five for the price of one”. If something fits, you don’t need five of each. You choose one that is perfect. Choose the details in your life, so they don’t choose you. Always look for quality. So when you have a few signature pieces in your home, there is no need for unnecessary space fillers. When you build a set of clothes that you love, you won’t need two closets to fit it all. When you decide where to go, it won’t matter what transportation got you there. Don’t despair if you don’t get a hang of it all at once. Quality is something that comes over time, with practice. And if you direct yourself to make conscious choices when you are acquiring something, in time you too will find that the quality of your life has immensely improved.

<3
Lola

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February 1, 2009 0

Women Of The World: Austria Part 2

By Lola in Interview(s), WOW

Quick Recap: in part 1 of the interview with Miss Irena, we found out about her life, and living in Vienna as it relates to career, lifestyle, and opportunities. In part 2, we find out the juicy!

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

Lola: Do young people hang out separately or in groups?
Miss Irena: Mostly in mixed groups with both guys and girls.

Lola: Around what age do young Austrians start getting into love relationships?
Miss Irena: Hm.. I like the question. In “my time” it was around 15-16. Now it is around 14.

Lola: What about sex?
Miss Irena: It seems as if the age is lowering. I would say the average is around 16.

Lola: Is sex becoming more casual?
Miss Irena: Yes, although I think that’s a trend in developed countries in the past few decades.

Lola: How is the marriage looked upon in Austria?
Miss Irena: As the divorce rates are high, marriage is not very praised. However, people still do get married and prepare extravagant weddings. Those living in smaller cities get are more likely to marry compared to Viennese.

Lola: What are the weddings like?
Miss Irena: Some people make smaller ones, some prefer something more elaborate. The preparations start at least six months in advance.  Most popular weddings are held outside the city, in the castles, gardens, etc.

Lola: How is cheating looked upon?
Miss Irena: People are quiet and calculating where cheating is concerned. Everyone is bothered with it, and no one wants to experience it!  My opinion is that it happens, but it is not talked about.  One never shares their dirty laundry with the neighbors in Austria.  Everything is discussed between four walls. I cannot speak for every couple in the intimacy of their home, but the statistics are telling us that infidelity happens often, and both men and women cheat.

Lola: Do couples tend to stay together after a huge disagreement or is the divorce the route most taken?
Miss Irena: As I’ve mentioned, the divorce is a regular occurrence. Austrians are less inclined to compromise, and sacrifice, and will often go for something different, or a solo life, if things in the relationship start to bother them.

FASHION

Lola: How important is fashion for women in Austria?
Miss Irena: It’s very important, especially women from ex-Yu who dress really well.  Austrian women like to get dressed up as well, but more casually. Still, when something is fashionable (trend for this winter was black fishnets, black shorts, and high heels), the entire city will go out and buy it. This of course is true for women who like fashion.  Alternative girls, and girls who do not care about fashion (there are a lot of them in Vienna), are completely un-phased by these things. I am speaking here for Vienna, as I do not know about other places.

Lola: How is style different in Austria and other parts of Europe?
Miss Irena: There are a loooooooooot less stores here compared to London, Paris, New York, and “real” world metropolises.  It’s not that there isn’t a choice, everyone can find something that looks good on them, but in the end most girls wear the same things that they bought in similar stores. Everything is uniformed this way.

Lola: Your fave designers?
Miss Irena: Roberto Cavalli, and Versace. Affordable: Zara, Mango.

Lola: Fave Austrian designers?
Miss Irena: I cannot give concrete designer names as Austria does not have a very big fashion scene.

Lola: What accessories could you not live without?
Miss Irena: Earrings, and bags (big and small).

Lola: Fave mag?
Miss Irena: Biggest magazine for women here is WOMAN. I like Cosmo, but Croatian rather than German edition.

Lola: Let’s say you have only $200 budget for wardrobe for the entire next year. What do you spend it on?
Miss Irena: A good pair of boots, few shirts, and accessories.

Lola: Advice for fashionistas?
Miss Irena: Do not run after every new trend as some clothes are not good enough even though they may be popular that month.

BEAUTY SECRETS

Miss Irena: Regular face cleansing is a MUST! I never go to bed with makeup.  Regular caring for the face is also important, with creams that are good for your skin. I go to a cosmetologist who prepares my face cream. Try to stay away from over-the-counter products that you can get at drugstores as the quality is low. Use something you would find at a dermatologist/cosmetologist’s office. High quality makeup is crucial too. I realized it is better to have 10 pieces of high quality makeup than 50 of half-good quality that one ends up throwing away because it went bad. I love peelings (both face and body). It is important to drink a lot of fluids, and to exercise (although I am not very disciplined there).

Lola: Cosmetics recommendations?
Miss Irena: My face cream is Chris Farell – Purell Skin Balancer. It is a cream for oily skin, it smells divinely, and the texture is wonderful.  For body, I use Dove.  As far as shampoos, I buy professional ones, for quality. I like brands Bonacure, and Loreal Professional. I use different kinds of makeup, although I love Biotherm, Clinique, and Dior.  Loreal is also good.  Overall, if you do one good thing for your face, it would be to have a consultation with a dermatologist or a cosmetologist.

FINAL WORDS FOR READERS

Miss Irena: An individual needs to feel hope, love herself, and work on herself throughout her life. Those three things are key! Satisfaction with oneself is the most important thing in life, as without it, one cannot succeed in a career, relationship or a friendship…  a person, then, cannot succeed in any social field without it.  You need to be your own best friend, and strive to know yourself.  I have also come to a conclusion that nothing is eternal, both pain and happiness come, go away, and return again. Life is not one straight line: sometimes you fly, while sometimes you fall. Truly: life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’ll get. It is up to us to learn from our mistakes, and to try not to repeat them. I believe in justice, and that everything in life – good and bad – comes back. That is why you shouldn’t ponder “why is this happening to me?” because every event has some meaning. With everything we experience we come out smarter, different, and stronger. Be honest with yourself, and listen to your inner voice. Mine never disappointed me!

Awwwwwwww! It’s easy to love Miss Irena! I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. Please feel free to comment!
<3,
Lola

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January 31, 2009 0

Women Of The World: Austria Part 1

By Lola in Interview(s), WOW

Cathedral
(The Cathedral)

LIFE IN LAND OF AUSTRIA

It would seem logical our knowledge of life in different countries would expand parallel to the globe becoming smaller. Yet we all could sharpen this image. In an effort to learn more about what it takes to be an Icelander, live in Indonesia, or dance in Canada, CWL is adding a column: „Women Around the World“.  Goal: to interview a young woman from every country on the globe. Motive: to discover her dreams, her life, her country, and of course, her fashion. Secret Motive: to expand the globe by celebrating everyday muti-cultural, successful, sexy women…

First country on the list is Austria, not because of the alphabet, but because the girl I interviewed is so delicious I had to share her with you! We have been friends for over two decades, and I was excited she agreed to be my first interviewee. Without further ado, I present to you MISS IRENA!!!

Miss Irena

FIRST THE INTRODUCTIONS!

Lola: Tell us who you are, what you do, and where your passions lie?
Miss Irena: I am a twenty-six years old student of Pedagogy. I also work in the afternoon program of an elementary school. I love to read about politics, religion, and philosophy. My passions include (like most women), clothes, and shoes. I love a fun evening out, and spending time with friends.

Lola: Hobbies?
Miss Irena: I love to read, to watch a good movie, and am about to start practicing yoga soon. I read a lot about it, and it appeals to me, so I’ve decided yoga will be my ‘real’ hobby.

Lola:  Why did you decide to live in Austria?
Miss Irena: I formed my social circle, schooled myself, and integrated myself into this country. I am not sure that I will stay here forever, but currently like living here very much.

Lola: What’s your satisfaction with life in Vienna 0-10 (0=worst, 10=best), and why?
Miss Irena: 7; Vienna strives for complete satisfaction, and there is always a little something that could improve. Especially in Vienna.

Lola: What do you love about the country?
Miss Irena: Austria is a small, but beautiful country. The Alps are very special, gorgeous really, as are the small, soulful towns. Vienna is a good city to live in as there are always some exhibitions, theater productions, and are a lot of places to go out to. There is something for every taste.

Lola: What would you like to see improve?
Miss Irena: I’d love for Vienna to acquire certain characteristics of a big city, like London and Paris – meaning to be infused with creativity (such as fashion, designers, high quality night clubs, and for night life to expand). I don’t want it to sound as if Vienna isn’t a metropolitan, but in my opinion, it is still far from real, worldly metropolitans. Simply, it is not yet boiling with life like other cities.



(Wien)

SCHOOL AND CAREER

Lola: Describe for us the educational system in the country?
Miss Irena: The educational system in Austria looks something like this: all children attend first 4 grades together – sort of like the elementary school. Then comes the division of kids into «Hauptschule» (higher elementary school), and «Gymnasium Unterstufe» (lower level of high school). Both last for four years, and students then transition to a real high school. High school choices are «Gymnasium Oberstufe» (higher level of high school), trade high schools, merchant high schools, economics high schools, and so on. A person can attend university only if they pass high school. Otherwise they have to pass certain subjects to be admitted. The university costs 380 Euros per semester. The admission process for the university practically doesn’t exist except for the programs that are in high demand such as medicine, and psychology. These are not your regular admittance exams, in fact all students are accepted. However the exams select which students can attend classes immediately, and which students have to wait another year for placement.

In totality Austrian system of education is somewhat old comparing to other countries, due to its a certain characteristic of inequality. Children from higher social structures have a better chance for higher quality education.  Children from lower social stratus are encouraged to attend «Hauptstchule» which means there is already a cut; they are already being predisposed to a more limited future. For example not very many of those kids attend high school, nor university. This early selection, at 10 years of age, immediately splits children into two different classes of people.

Lola: Can one change their career if they are dissatisfied?
Miss Irena: The system is somewhat flexible, and you can transfer from one branch to another, but career cannot be completely changed. Most people stay in their own routine jobs/fields.

Lola: What are some popular careers for women?
Miss Irena: As far as trade careers definitely those of the hair stylist and secretary. This is the business choice for many young women, and they educate themselves accordingly. As far as academic jobs marketing, consulting, and economics are popular. This is shown by the number of girls in the field of economics in Vienna. There is also the classic medicine or law road. I mean these are all examples – I cannot be concrete as career is such a personal subject, and every woman would answer this question very differently.

Lola: What kind of annual income can give one a decent life in Vienna?
Miss Irena: I’d say 20,000€/year allows for a good life in Vienna. Average income is about 1,300-1,600€ monthly + 1 pay for summer/Christmas vacation. So let’s say 1600€ is enough for a single person to have a carefree life.

Lola: Do most young people live by themselves, or with parents?
Miss Irena: Most young people live by themselves. Relative move-out age depends from person to person, and whether the young person went straight into the work force at 19, or continued on to the university. If they decided to work they are likely to move out earlier. If they chose to attend the university some students move out right away, and some later during the schooling. Young people who come from the province into Vienna for the university live by themselves, or with roommates. Living with roommates is very popular for students in Vienna, regardless whether they are Viennese or «from the side», «Wohngemeinschaft». This generally involves a big apartment with four roommates, or living in dorms.

RIGHTS & OPPORTUNITIES

Lola: What are the opportunities for home ownership?
Miss Irena: There are many different opportunities. State-owned apartments are somewhat more affordable than renting. Every Austrian has a right for one of those up until the age of 30, as do big families, lower-income individuals, etc… One waits about 1-2 years for these.  There is the regular renting, and something we call «genossenschaft», a down payment while the building is in construction, but once you move in you would pay about 100-200 less than renting. There is a good supply of apartments, but like in most European cities, they are expensive.

Lola: How do women live in Austria? How does the equality play out in reality?
Miss Irena: Women in Austria live well in comparison with many of the world’s countries. Of course this in large depends on the kind of job, and social structure the woman lives in. However, one can say that overall there are a lot of opportunities, and rights for women here, starting with schooling, jobs, and state help for stay at home moms. A big problem is the eventual re-integration into job force once a woman returns from maternity leave. This is something the country is working on though. Some statistics say women earn less than men in certain branches, but in my opinion Austria is one very «frauenfreundlich» country – country good for women.

Lola:  How do other minorities live?
Miss Irena: People more or less live in their own communities. There are no «ghettos» such as in France, but there are migrant neighborhoods. The problem of integration is alive in Austria. It is a complicated issue, one of the egg and the hen. Do the immigrants really want to integrate into Austrian society? Did Austria give them a fair ability to do so? It’s a never ending topic. Other minorities such as people with disabilities, and gays live well. They have many organizations, and are well protected by the state. For example gays have a great status in the society, and the anti-discriminatory laws based on sexual orientation are in practice. However, they still do not have a right to marry, or to adopt children. People with special needs, along with people with disabilities are very well integrated into Austrian society.

(Passage, Museumsquartier)

VIENNA LIFESTYLE & NIGHTLIFE

Lola: Where does one go out in Vienna, and what does one do in their spare time?
Miss Irena: That question is hard to answer globally. «In» places change, but lately there is a popularity of «Museumsquartier» places consisting of a few museums with well known coffee shops, bars, clubs, and restaurants. In the middle of the complex there is generally a park with nicely designed benches. As far as nightlife, there are many discotheques/clubs for every type of music, and public preference.  «Passage» is sort of a hipster club filled to capacity on weekends. One has to wait up to an hour to get in. The entire city goes out there right now, and if a celebrity visits Vienna, this is a place they will visit. Next door is «Volksgarten», one older and well known club with different music every night. Alternative bars and clubs are b72, and Chelsea.

(Danube)

A few months ago coffee shop/bar/restaurant «Freiraum“ (free room) opened. It immediately became very popular. Their philosophy is: «cocktail in the restaurant, steak at the bar, breakfast at midnight, champagne on the old couch». Which means the entire area is a bar, coffee shop, and the restaurant. This innovative idea works very well.

In their free time people visit each other, they go on the Internet, go shopping, or for a walk. When it is warm the Danube has a million possibilities for sports and recreation. The Danube and Viennese have a very deep connection. There is «Donauinsel» , the Danube-Island, where people practice sports, etc.. There are also bars and clubs opened only during summer time;  it is magical to spend an evening in one of those – you have a feeling that you are on the seaside. There are a few international restaurants (Greek, Mexican, etc), and coffee shops (Jamaica, Caribbean, etc.).  All are very well designed, and have become well known with tourists and Viennese alike.

Also, let’s not forget the biggest Open-Air Festival in the world, the «Donauinselfest» happening every June for the past twenty years. It lasts three days, with two million visitors.

(Freiraum)

Lola: Where do you go out to?
Miss Irena: Clubs Volksgarten,Babenberger, and Passage. As far as restaurants/coffee shops I visit Freiraum, and Stylez.

Lola: Additional places you suggest for a tourist visiting?
Miss Irena: Well, there is the classical sightseeing: city’s center, the Cathedral, the opera, few museums, (most definitely MQ – Museumsquartier), Mariahilferstrasse – longest shopping street in Vienna. It is interesting that the greatest shopping center in Europe is here. It is incredibly big and supplied with everything!

Lola: Are there holidays original to Austria?
Miss Irena: No, but we celebrate the February carnival «Fasching». Halloween is becoming more popular by the year. The most celebrated holiday is Christmas. During the time of advent, Vienna holds a huge Christmas market. People go there to buy ornaments for their Christmas trees, sweets, and they drink punch or cooked wine.  Then the season of balls begins, from middle of January until the end of February. This is a huge tradition! There is a ball for everyone: police ball, student ball, bakers ball… Apex of the balls is, of course, the «Opernball», or Vienna Opera Ball visited by the VIPs, politicians, and stars.

(Stay tuned for PART 2 in which we discuss love, fashion, and sex!)

<3
Lola

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January 10, 2009 0

Sarajevo Is…

By Lola in Coffee Break, Narrative, Sarajevo

This piece depicts certain originalities of Sarajevo. Written by Aleksandar Hemon, and borrowed from habitusmag.

Sarajevo Is…

The taxi driver who drove me from the airport and, when I observed that the leaves were already beginning to fall, replied: “Why, yes, first watermelons, then lessons,” which, on close analysis, I understood as representing a magic formula to describe the gradual approach of autumn.

The moment when, from Jekovac, after the Ramazan cannon fires to indicate sunset, you see the lights on all the minarets of Sarajevo simultaneously ignite.

The clatter of the first morning tram, echoing through the empty streets of the city.

The coldness of the buildings from the Austro-Hungarian era and the staircases inside them, with their treads worn by the soles that have climbed them for more than a century.

Somun—soft, white bread—(scattered with seeds) from the baker’s in Kovači.

Children’s balls, rolling in the shallow eddies of the Miljacka river.

The beauty of Sarajevo women, who always bear in them the imprint of their own past and their own future; the history of past and future changes: their faces reveal both skinny little girls and mature women, both minxes and careworn matrons.

The sfumato of a cold Sarajevo morning, before the sun steals up behind the mountains, and mist drifts up the slopes.

Škembići—tripe—at Hadžibajrić’s.

The fruit that grows on bushes throughout Sarajevo, known as “white berries.”

The slender cat, a striped market stray, that rolls on the pile of Persian carpets in Morić-han.

The round tray that rotates on the tip of a waiter’s forefinger.

The pigeons’ rally on Sebilje.

The aroma of cheese, cream, meat, and marble in the market.

The peal of church bells at six o’clock in the morning.

The way the Sarajevo accent bursts the speaker’s lips, because of the rumbling consonants and swallowed vowels, which looks particularly good on women with full lips.

Autumn leaves, ankle-deep, in Wilson’s Walk, and the sound of ripe chestnuts breaking off, hurtling through the branches, then hitting the soft carpet of leaves.

A white-wine spritzer at Ramiz’s.

The scent of old cellars: coal, dust, tubs for souring cabbage,mildew.

The lights that glint on the hills around Sarajevo at night, like stars that fall slowly, the way snowflakes do.

The sound of a deflated ball kicked around by children in the
open spaces of New Sarajevo.

The hissing of rain on streets under the wheels of cars.

Carved cartridge cases in the Kujundžiluk.

The chirping of radio stations in taxis.

The rheumatic hands of old men behind their backs as they watch a game of chess with giant pieces in front of the ghostly Department Store.

Ice cream with the flavor of “Egyptian vanilla” (whatever that is) at the Egypt pastry shop.

The green turf of Željo’s Stadium.

Asphalt full of hollows, holes, puddles, and the “roses” of shell craters, never perfect, always spattered.

The brief jerk of the head to one side that accompanies the response “Okay…” to the question, “How’re things?”

The intense colors of autumn fruit and vegetables softened by the shade of the beams at the Markale Market.

Meatballs—ćevapi—anywhere in town.

Sorrel that goes to seed in less than fifteen minutes.

The hardness of the stone you touch when you bend to drink a mouthful of water at the Gazi Husref-Beg Mosque.

The hum of Sarajevo heard from Hrid or Trebević—all the sounds of the city merged into one.

The silence that accompanies the first snowfall, as though everything and everyone were hushed with wistful excitement.

The long shadows of the trees in the Big Park on a September afternoon.

The collection of stuffed animals in the National Museum.

The statues in front of the National Bank, eternal guards of the Čeka, holding helmet-lights above their heads.

The rhythm of the tread of the elderly in Ferhadija, harmonizing with the rhythm of their conversation—a syntax of footsteps.

A cheap football shirt with the name Zinedine Zidane on the back of a grimy boy.

Tito’s portrait in the goldsmith’s in Ćaršija.

Underpants and stockings in the passage beside The Imperial.

The aroma clothes carry in them after a stay in Sarajevo: a mixture of sweat, cigarette smoke, ćevapi, washing in Sarajevo water, and drying in the open air.

The people of Sarajevo: the clever and the churlish, the greedy and the handsome, the weary and the young, youthful and crazy, rich and wretched, sturdy and sick, tall and rundown, the angry and the underhanded, the tricksters and the brilliant, the Diaspora and locals, children and adults, the faithful and infidels, the powerful and the pious—all in all, nearly four-hundred-thousand
urban atoms.

And let us be honest, there’s no end. You either love Sarajevo or you don’t.

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January 2, 2009 0

EFT and David Childerley Part 2 – The Interview

By Lola in Interview(s), Self Development

First time I watched a Dave Childerley EFT video on youtube, I was swept away by his confidence, helpfulness, and warmth. He and Michelle, his wife, are my two favorite EFT success coaches. To my utter delight, Dave agreed to do an interview for CWL. Here it is!

LOLA:
Would you give us more detail about your new upcoming “Self Empowerment Show”: what inspired you to create it, what do you and Michelle hope to accomplish through such a show, and who is the audience you are targeting?

DAVE:
The new show is about helping people become self empowered by sharing the truth with them. The truth of who they are, why they feel the way they do and why self love is so important to the immune system and eliminating poor health. The new show will be interactive and will feature special guests that will answer viewers’ questions.  My goal is to tell people the truth as fear is generated by lack of knowledge.

Empowered with new knowledge, people can change their lives fast using new easy-to-use energy techniques like EFT and the Huna. The show will appeal to everyone who feels emotions from children right up to the elder generations. The show is about teaching people to detach from the world drama and learning to take back their power to create love and peace within. It is my intention that the show will reach the masses with a global self-empowering message of truth and hope.

It is also my intention during 2009, that my new ‘self empowerment’ TV web show is broadcast on mainstream TV so that it really starts to reach the masses for free. This is my dream, to reach the masses with free truthful knowledge that empowers them from within. This is my challenge and I will succeed because I expect it to and I am going to allow it to happen with no resistance from me. This how I manifest my wants, I simply want them, allow them to unfold and do not offer any resistance to my wants flowing to me. I just believe they will come if I want them enough. It’s no magic, it’s just the self belief that I deserve and nothing is impossible in my world. If everyone thought this way, what a world we could create!

LOLA:
I love your website www.myGenie.tv as it is based on a concept of this great digital library where one can choose a video to tap along to from their living room. (It’s also worth mentioning that you are tackling a lot of different issues other EFT coaches are afraid to delve into (such as sexual dysfunction, etc…)) If one is a beginner, and wants to improve in few areas what would you recommend as a course for such an individual?

DAVE:
The myGenie.tv provides all the self help tools needed to break free from self limitations, fear, and poor health. We also help members with sexual challenges as I feel that this is a big issue in most people’s lives. I have even been criticised by other EFT coaches who feel offended that I should be so open and public with my offerings!! Simply, I do not care what they think as it’s none of their business. I only care what my members think and they are asking for help with these issues. Also, if I give all the answers out online, who will pay ‘$200 an hour plus’ for their best advise?

It’s important to remember that there are many success coaches and therapists out there who are not in truth with themselves and they see me as a real threat to their income.

These ‘old-school’ therapists see each new client as a revenue stream for so many sessions. During these sessions they intentionally stir up the emotional pot to extend the amount of therapy sessions they get paid to help with. This is the ‘standard-old-school’ therapy model that is dying, and is becoming obsolete because it was built on unethical foundations and was bound to fail as the people realised the scam. I believe now is the time for a change in how people develop themselves and myGenie.tv is here to provide the online low cost solution needed.

I always recommend that new members start with a video series called ’7 days to freedom’ that features the EFT or emotional freedom technique. This video series will educate you about you and quickly show you how to overcome your current situation so that you can restore balance and harmony to your life.

Each video recommends a period of days that the technique should be practised for quickest and best results although this is flexible. The members work at their own pace and can use the videos over and over again or until they feel better. Some people let go quicker than others so the site allows everyone to develop at their own rate that feels good for them. The ’7 days’ program is an excellent place to start and by the time you’re finished, you’ll know what your main success blocks are and can then select the appropriate video to work with.

New members also have access to the sites unique and very popular ‘Q&A forum’, where they can ask personal questions and receive fast responses from a team of qualified therapists and success coaches including myself.

LOLA:
How much of your success today can be contributed to practicing EFT on yourself?

DAVE:
All of my success today is down to me.

EFT was one of many external self help tools that I used to access my real power within. This is what most people miss in the self help process because they believe that the external tool, in this case EFT, will cure them and if it doesn’t they tell others that EFT does not work. EFT is only an external tool used to access your power within. If EFT doesn’t do it for you, find another tool and try that. Sooner or later you will find a tool that resonates with you and it will enable you to connect to your inner power so that you can start moving forward in your life.

My success is down to me investing the time to explore different techniques until I found one that resonated. I must say though, EFT is by far the most powerful tool out there right now. EFT helped me clear the bulk of my issues fast and I still use the technique every day to keep me on track. I see it like brushing my teeth, every day I take 5 minutes to balance my energy and to say thanks for my connection to myself.

In my world, no one external tool or self development technique is any better than the other. It is your thoughts about them that makes the difference to the results you get.  That’s why everyone has different experiences. People try many different therapies but sooner or later they find one and their belief changes about what is possible for them and off they go saying that therapy is the best around.

Put simply, the therapy ‘technique’ is just a tool to help you to access your inner power to heal the self and to release inner negative emotions.  If you have any thoughts that it will not work for you, it won’t. Your beliefs are far more powerful than any ‘technique’ outside of you. The real power to heal yourself is within you. The techniques just allow you to connect internally, release and move on.

(LOLA’s Note: Now you see why Dave’s absolutely best! I used to wonder how very successful people got where they are before EFT, but then I remember that everyone has their own tool to access the inner power. This power to live magical lives is already within us, and EFT is one of many tools to help us get there. If it doesn’t work, something else will. And whatever tool helps you do it is the tool for you, because all the success is already within. Our only task is to access it.)

LOLA:
What other techniques do you find crucial in self development?

DAVE:
An open mind and self love are the two crucial components to self development. Most people develop slowly because they hold themselves back by their own beliefs about what is possible for them. They believe that only external help can cure them. They slowly get there in the end but only after they realise that they held the power within all the time and that nothing external from them will cure them. An open mind allows the individual to be guided within for help and to move away from external guidance.

Self love is your key to unlock who you really are and spend the rest of your life in happiness and bliss. The human body is simple to understand… We all have 2 choices in life.

1) If you love yourself… you will be healthy, loving and in a permanent state of joy.

2) If you hate yourself or any part of yourself… you will become unhealthy, depressed and in a permanent state of fear and worry.

You have tried… ‘not loving yourself’ and it clearly doesn’t work so why not now try the opposite and see if that works better. Try loving yourself just the way you are and experience amazing miracles happen in all areas of your life.

LOLA:
Within the practice of EFT a lot of importance is being placed on being specific when resolving energy blocks. What are the benefits of tapping on the specific issue without necessarily wanting to go back to the first time that the issue came about?

DAVE:
When using any external tool such as EFT, it’s important to remember that no one needs to relive the original trauma again in order to release it and move forward. Your unconscious mind knows exactly what caused the original trauma and has been protecting you from reliving it for a good reason… you do not need to know! A higher part of you already knows and is prompting you from within to let go and move on. The way you feel now is a reminder from within that you need to let go of it in the now and move on.

When I help someone move on my videos, we would tap on something like…

‘Even though…  my unconscious mind knows the root cause to my issue and has lovingly protected me from reliving it, I now choose to release how I feel now and let go of any past connections to it’

The way I teach is to educate the person about how their mind and energy system works so that they understand why they feel the way they do. With new knowledge about the self, one can break free from fear and self limitations and once again enjoy freedom, health and happiness.

LOLA:
How do you recommend EFT be introduced to skeptics, especially people you are certain could be helped so much with the techniques?

DAVE:
I do not recommend introducing EFT to skeptics who are not ready for change…. that’s why they are still skeptics! When someone becomes really sick of how they feel, they take action and do something about it. These are the people I help. I never try and introduce my teachings to anyone unless they ask for my help. I simply allow them to be as they are. I allow them to have their own experience and if they choose to be skeptical than that’s their choice. I give zero energy to skeptics as it’s a waste of time. I only give my energy to those who ask for it.

(LOLA’s Note: Brilliant point! I have trouble with this as I want to help everyone. However, not everyone is ready for EFT, and some people may never want to try it. Trying to persuade skeptics truly is an energy waster.)

LOLA:
Do you do EFT with your children? If yes, how do they explain the use of it to other children that may not have been introduced to it yet?

DAVE:
No, I do not use EFT with my son who’s 11 as he already realises that his power comes from within him and when he’s faced with a challenge, he simply chooses the desired outcome he wants using his mind and his point of focus. In my experience, children take to learning EFT very quickly. My son never used the technique because he has never needed to. He is very well balanced, healthy and doing well in his studies so I never felt the need to use it with him. He does know how to use the technique and has showed other children at his school how to use it. If he ever comes to me with an issue and asks for help, I would use EFT but only if he was unable to work it out in his mind first.

EFT is a great tool for kids to learn and should be taught at every school so that children could deal with emotional challenges as they go and not store them all up until they are older. They should be taught to… ‘Release & let go’ as emotional challenges arise.

(LOLA’s Note:  I wish all parents would do what Dave does. A lot of unnecessary later heartbreak would be saved if we all learned how powerful we are when we are kids instead of ‘growing up’, ‘getting serious’, ‘facing the reality’…)

LOLA:
What are your and Michelle’s plans for this upcoming 2009 year as it relates to your self coaching, and development business?

DAVE:
Our plans for 2009 are simple. We intend to produce more and more videos for myGenie.tv and youtube that teach people how to become more and more self empowered.

I also intend speaking at global events throughout the year to promote the whole concept of ‘detaching from external drama and going within to take back your power’.

Michelle will also continue her work on the Genie whilst developing her new show on youtube about increasing the awareness of animal communication, and how we can create a closer relationship with all creatures.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THANK YOU DAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LINKS:
Dave’s Self Empowerment show.
Dave and Michelle on youtube.
Dave and Michelle’s website: www.my Genie.tv.

Hope you enjoyed this. Have a lovely weekend.

Lola.

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January 1, 2009 0

EFT and David Childerley: Part 1

By Lola in Self Development

Over the holidays I had the pleasure to interview possibly the best EFT success coach in the world: David Childerley. Dave was kind enough to share the plans for his new Self Empowerment show, AND answer additional questions. For this I am very grateful!

Before I share the interview with you, I’d like to take a moment and write a little bit about EFT. EFT is an energy therapy – often described as acupuncture without needles – based on a theory that disruption of a body’s energy system causes negative thoughts, emotions, and illnesses. Roots of this theory are traced to traditional Chinese medicine which placed a great value on the body-mind connection while healing. In the 90′s, a Stanford engineer Gary Craig combined these ideas with positive affirmations to create a new form of therapy called Emotional Freedom Techniques or EFT. EFT is very simple, and it involves light tapping on specific body points while repeating affirmations. Free manual can be found on Gary Craig’s website: www.emofree.com. (It has been translated into other languages as well.) For a demonstration of EFT please watch this David Childerley video on law of attraction.

Why this ridiculous looking procedure works is beyond me. When you see it done the first couple of times, you’ll think people in the videos have gone bonkers! I still don’t understand how tapping yields such great results. Regardless, it does! I’ve used it to successfully resolve war trauma, you know the us(ual): fear of intersections (snipers), panic attacks, nightmares… EFT helped resolve all these, easily, and for free. Traditional therapy route would still have me lying on some comfy couch admiring my nails.

If you would like to improve your life in some area it’s worth trying EFT. People have gotten great results for weight loss, allergies, illnesses, burns, negative feelings, depression, sexual dysfunction, abundance, eye sight, and many more… The worst it can happen while trying EFT is that you may feel silly for a few moments! While the traditional therapy has been around for decades, everyone knows at least a few individuals who went to therapy only to gain limited results. So why not try something new?

I highly recommend the following websites to get you into the EFT groove:

www.emofree.com
Gary Craig’s website (founder of EFT), providing a free EFT manual, Q&A forum, and plethora of articles on EFT and its uses.

www.attractingabundance.com
Carol Look’s website (EFT master who worked closely with Gary Craig before developing her own field of mastery within EFT: abundance). Definitely sign up for her free newsletter with tips on different issues.

And I saved the best for last:

www.myGenie.tv
David and Michelle Childerley’s website.

In my research of EFT I often found websites that promised to resolve this issue for $125.99, or asked me to go to a $500 seminar to access my inner child, or change my life with a $79.95 DVD. Like in any new field that’s becoming popular, it is getting harder to find people who are genuinely interested in helping others. A while ago however, I stumbled upon one of Dave Childerley’s videos and have since found other resources by him, and his wife Michelle. Best by far is their website which is a library of videos for various ailments and problems. The name of the website, myGenie, describes Dave’s core belief: everyone is powerful within themselves, and EFT is just one of the tools to help us access that inner genius. This is a refreshing idea!

I have since contacted Dave and he graciously agreed to do an interview. I will be posting it tomorrow so stay tuned!

<3, Lola.

(Lola’s Note: You can read the interview here.)

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September 18, 2008 1

Siege in 40 Pictures – Sarajevo’s Magical Realism (92-95)

By lola in Narrative, Sarajevo, The Globe

Feelings intertwine today in regards to that time. The greatest achievement of the nineties for us Sarajevans was not surviving until peace, but living during war. Paralleling the smell of gun powder were citizens who went to school, work, and universities as if it was a regular time, and a regular place. We ran the snipered intersections on our way to the theater to produce Ravel’s bolero with a modern twist. We ceased to be victimized. It ceased to be a war. It was just an anachronism. A mistake in time.

I found these photos online, and am borrowing them to express my unusual nostalgia of that time of magical realism in Sarajevo. They are by a Bosnian war photojournalist, Rikard Larma, currently a Philadelphia resident.

Mr. Larma captured my sentiments exactly: we really were just a page out of Marquez’ books. This particular set of photos he called “A Siege in 40 pictures.” (Opsada u 40 Slika.)


1984. – Year of the Olympics.  Sarajevo, a perfect medium between East and West of Europe was chosen to host the Olympics and represent that different sort of thinking brings beauty into life too.  In war only memories remained, and this Vucko (mascot of the games) poster is now trashed, together with cans of despicable ICAR canned meat that was given as Humanitarian Aid.


A UN soldier sits here with some kids (who were my age at the time). We called the UN Smurfs – less because of blue helmets they wore, and more for the nonchalant behavior.  They did absolutely nothing to help solve anything that went on in the city.  Because of this, Sarajevans are greatly skeptical of any UN missions set up to ‘watch the peace’.


Perhaps the most affected were the elderly.  At an age when life should return upon them hard work and effort they put into it, they were forced to witness their country, their way of life, their culture, and their city collapse. Many wished they had ‘gone’ before the start of war. I often wished the same for my grandfather. Had he died just a few months earlier, in 1992, he would have died a satisfied man.


This is the City Hall, greatest library of Sarajevo. It was burnt to the ground in a shell caused fire in 1992.

Remainders. Reminders.


Definitely not an everyday picture, but still charming, very charming. No regular means of transportation, but when life gives you shit and genocide, well then you have to make your own carriage. <3.


Or wait for peace… Like this little fellow.

More photos can be found here.
More about the photographer, Rikard Larma.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I.

Yours with love,
Lola

P.S. I added descriptions to photos, but will gladly remove if asked by author.

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May 13, 2008 5

How to be a woman

By lola in Advice

Steve Pavlina has been Dr. Phil to my inner Oprah for a while now. I stumbled upon his articles on self-discipline a while ago, and since then regularly browse his site. He is currently looking for articles on “How to be a woman”. So here it is, a perspective from a twenty something woman on being one.

1. Treasure your body, mind, and soul.

A woman knows her humanness is supported by honoring these three. Although it’s becoming cliché to hear it, we all could take greater care of ourselves. Exercising, eating well, meditating, and caring for one’s mind are directly proportional to living optimal lives.

2. Embrace your inner feminist.

Regardless of the confusion, key definition of feminism is the policy, practice or advocacy of political, economic, and social equality for women. Thanks to this policy many women in the world today are voting, choosing their careers, making decisions about their bodies, and having a voice in societies they live in. Embracing one’s inner feminist means promoting ideas of equality in our lives, and in lives of those women who are not as fortunate.

3. If the answer is ‘no’, ASK AGAIN!

Men are excellent at being assertive. Assertiveness may be one reason they often get ahead of women, especially in the workforce. They are unafraid to ask for something more than once, as should you be! So when you hear a negative in response to your inquiry about a better position, promotion, raise, and so on, relax. Recuperate, prepare your argument, and ask again! They can only say ‘no’ a limited amount of times before the answer is ‘yes’.

4. Take charge of your finances.

Abundance is the key to living the fullest life possible! Lady get a hold of thy finances! Start by appreciating what you have: relationships, friendships, food, home, shoes, hamster… Secondly, monitor your money flow to find out where you stand. Finally, develop your financial goals for the next 1, 5, and 10 years. (Joan Sotkin is a great resource.)

5. Apologize NOT for the life you want to lead.

Turn inward for any main decisions you want to accomplish in life. You may want to get married early and have a few kids. You may never want to get married. You may want to join the Peace Corps. You may want to dedicate yourself to partying. You may want to dedicate yourself to God. Whatever it is, make no apologies! You are the only authority in your life. Others’ respect and acceptance will not come because of your successes or failures, but because of your courage to live the life of your dreams.

6. Accept the generational and cultural differences.

Different generations differ on ‘how to be a woman’. To make it more confusing so do different cultures. Your mother may have been happy working a regular job, while you want to be the CEO. Your friend from Europe may use her flirtatiousness to get ahead while your neighbor may think ideas of woman-ness are completely off the wall. Release the need to be righteous! Accept that as long as the world exists there will be differences. And that there is a great learning in those differences everyone can profit from.

7. Men deserve direction to understand you better.

What it means to be a woman has changed dramatically in the past decades. Men in your life may be confused about their own definition of how to be men as it relates to you. Fearlessly approach this subject. They will be grateful that you are finding common ground together.

8. Explore your sexuality.

This can be simple, or complex. Either way, freely explore pleasures! Experiment with what you like. Discover your body. Love your body. Kiss. Make love. Caress. Read erotica. Share thoughts with your partner. Dress up the part. Step today into what you were afraid of yesterday.

9. Remember to laugh.

Laugh everywhere. Laugh anywhere. Laugh with friends, and alone. Let your soul, body, and mind unite in an orgasm of laughter.

This reaches the end of my little guide on ‘how to be a woman’. Enjoy your evening.

Love,

Lola.

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April 14, 2008 1

(Bosnian) Coffee Recipe

By lola in Bosnian Recipes, Coffee Break, Recipes

What better way to start off a morning than with a smooth and strong cup of coffee? I drink the Bosnian kind. Same or very similar way of preparing coffee can be attributed to other Mediterranean countries and beyond.

You will need:
Ground Coffee (2 tsp of coffee per 1 cup of water);
A Coffee Pot;
Espresso Coffee Cups;
Water;
Sugar, milk or cream at your preference.

Where to get it?
Coffee – supermarkets in most places in Europe will have ground coffee already bagged. In other countries most international food stores carry ground coffee as well. If one is not near, you can go to any grocery store and find the coffee aisle. Once there, pick your choice of coffee, (or even mix it up), and grind it until it is sugar-like in density.
Coffee pot – preferably you already have something of the sort, (something like here or here). If not, you can prepare it in a small pot. (If you are to become a regular drinker of this type of coffee, I highly recommend getting a coffee pot. Something in its architecture produces delicious taste over, and over again.)
Espresso cups – this coffee is strong, and one to two espresso cups will be enough to satisfy even the most dedicated of java-heads. I promise. Some affordable cups may be found here . World market also has a great selection, here.

Preparation:
-Bring water to boil in the coffee pot on the stovetop.
-Stir the coffee as you put it, (again, this is 1.5 tsp of coffee per 1 mug of water).
-Stir some more and remove from the stove for about 10-15 seconds.
-Put it back on the hot stovetop for another 10-15 seconds and let the coffee rise. It will make a thick coating that will subside once you remove it from the stove.
-Serve hot in espresso cups, (add sugar, milk or cream at your preference).

Ready to go pro? May I also suggest adding rahat lokum (aka Turkish Delight), to be eaten slowly while sipping the coffee.

Enjoy!

Lola

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